Saturday, January 27, 2007

Being Cold Stinks - But not as Much as Fish Paste!

Just when I thought I was so tough that I could make it through the winter without buying knee socks, boots or thermals, we got hit with the coldest day Connecticut has had in two years. Yesterday all the public schools closed because of the risk of hypothermia and frostbite. Yale, of course, did not close. Walking to and from work in below zero temperatures with wind is miserable. "Mother" nature doesn't seem so nurturing when she's stabbing you in the face. The cold pierced through several layers, a down jacket, gloves, scarf, hat and a hood. We went to a party last night and I (stupidly) wore ballet flats with thin socks. It came in handy though, when a re-enactment of "The Nutcracker" broke out -- who's embarrassed for inappropriate attire NOW? Alas, the bones in my feet are still achingly cold and we got home 12 hours ago. So I searched and searched for cold weather bargains online and found some warm boots on sale from Lands' End for $19.99. I also got ear-muffs; a must-have in New England. I think my ears almost broke off yesterday. If only I could find a see-through face mask I'd be all set - plus it would be easier to rob a bank if the urge ever overtook me. Sameer got a few pairs of thermals too. Now we just hope that our cold weather apparel is delivered before we experience another frighteningly cold day. Fortunately for us it's warmed up now and we're back to our luxuriously "warm" 20 degree weather today.

In other news, our neighbors are cooking cabbage again today. You must be thinking - "That must be quite stinky." Well, it actually smells like Chanel No. 5 compared to the vile fish paste that they normally like to boil. The fumes from our neighbors' kitchen which infiltrate every corner of our apartment on a regular basis is by far the hardest part about living here. We used to stick incense sticks in the peephole outside the door to fend off the angry ghosts of the long departed sea-life, but it just ended up smelling like someone had vigorously beat a decomposed fish against a block of sandlewood for several hours. Candles? French vanilla fish paste. We even opened the hallway windows as well as our kitchen window in the dead of winter in order to arrange a grudge match: Mother Nature's Adamantium Wind-Knives of Shivering Death vs. Neighbor's Nasal Napalm of Withering Contempt (or "Korean Mustard-Gas"). Somebody go tell Magneto - fish paste shatters adamantium like a wrecking ball against a porcelain mouse. Anyway, after mother nature got her face kicked in, we were forced to experiment with various household chemical reactions. We won't bore you with the horrors of the failed attempts, but instead we'll close this post with an odor reducing tip: Q: Are you encountering a horribly noxious, seemingly omnipotently offensive gas seeping into your precious living space? A: Boil copious amounts of CINNAMON in an uncovered pot on the stove for SEVERAL HOURS. Repels the olfactory demons like a stink-fighting charm. CAUTION: remember to check the water level regularly, so as to avoid the spontaneous combustion of your pot and possibly your entire apartment. Don't be put in a position where you're forced to throw your body to the flames -- then the fish paste wins.

6 comments:

Naomi Smith said...

our week has been much of the same; our water heater broke on thursday. by the time the technician came to fix it on Friday we practically thanked him for charging us $400 fo fixing it!
we miss you guys

Sameer Yadav said...

Blasted technicians. It's a racket, I tells ya. Well, I hope you're keeping warm now, at least. We miss you guys too. We want to visit Spain!!!!!

Julie Handel said...

we recently had a chill (27ish degrees) the week we tore apart our kitchen floor, no use heating when the sub-floor looks like a deck... thank goodness for space heaters :)

Hope you guys are well!!

Sameer Yadav said...

Hey Julie, It was good to hear from you!

Amy Medina said...

Hi Sameer and Whitney! It's fun to keep up to date with you by reading your blog. We miss you! I'm afraid we can't relate to your cold weather....I'm sitting still with ceiling fans on and still sweating profusely!
Amy Medina :-)

Anonymous said...

fish paste...mmmm...sounds yummy. ;)
i feel really bad for you guys. sounds like you have some creative remedies for a horrible situation though.
i cannot believe you walked to work in below zero weather, whitney! is the weather getting any better? just so you know...it snowed in santa clarita 2 weeks ago. crazy, huh? how was your trip last week? hope you guys had fun. love you!